For most of us, parents make sure about our devotion to God and rituals which continues until the end of adolescence. Adulthood set in bringing along with it a sense of independence and responsibilities. And adulthood is the onset of confusion and goes on until when I know not; I’m not there yet. We start questioning ourselves about the veracity of our faiths and beliefs and life becomes a series of logical explanations. Depending on the intensity of thought processes, some remain religious, some turn agnostics and the rest go on to become atheists. Our faiths or disbeliefs tend to become stronger as we travel further down the paths we decided to take during the crossroads.
A handful of us are forced to retrace our steps back to the crossroad to follow another path – the believers call it fate or destiny and some prefer to call it The Calling, but the rest, they scoff. Turn back moments are rare, but when they happen, turn out to be life transforming.
Close observation of life reveals many moments of epiphany where the realization strikes us hard enough to change track. The moment in itself may not hold significant importance; it is the realization inside us that makes it life transforming. For some it maybe one of the many routine trips to the local vegetable vendor that has caused a shift in career path towards organic farming, while some others have shifted focus to make a change towards affordable education at one of the many sights of children selling ear buds at signals. My epiphany moment came with a Saturday morning newspaper article.
The intention here is not to create an interest or curiosity towards religion; we all have different experiences in relating to God, some may have none. Some maybe blind followers and some are seekers.
Life was all fun and laughter most times and arguments and tears other times but devoid of any depth or revelations. Even when a friend put forward an invitation to visit Kollur Devi, the immediate response was “yes, why not, it’ll be a fun trip, our girls will enjoy the time together.” without a second thought. I was neither against religion nor too involved and God and temples existed only for the religiously devout, not for me. Kollur was a destination I was only inquisitive about to map with a movie I had watched all through childhood. The week passed with the friend’s family charting out the plan and travel itinerary and narrating their past experiences which only added to the excitement of a new experience.
The day of travel dawned with a sudden urge of all days to read the newspaper with coffee. It came with a paid supplement which was unusual because it wasn’t paid for. Brimming with curiosity over the unexpected addition to the day’s edition, I sat down in solitude to pour over it. The first page article of the first spirituality supplement carried with it an article about Kollur Bhagavathi Devi. Curioser and curioser as Alice in Wonderland, I immersed myself in the article which bore an uncanny precision to my forthcoming visit the Goddess – the invite from a friend extolling the virtues of their previous sojourns, the itinerary, road travel, purpose of visit – every bit in the article described my past week’s developments; which increased my goose bump count. As I sat transfixed with inexplicable emotions, my friend’s call citing the article only heightened my faith in the divine call of the Goddess. I have been an ardent visitor ever since, still as confused as a child lost in a crowd while I reflect on what pulls me to her and why she could have pulled. I haven’t discovered any reasoning yet, nor has there been any major transformation in my life as far as the eye can perceive, but what metamorphosis my mind may have undergone and for what purpose, only the Goddess would know.
“Time is strange and life is twice as strange”. Life is best lived without the efforts to decipher.
Random reflections 